Thankful Thursday

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Ma. 25:21

Today I am thankful for my Bobpa.
He passed away last Saturday.
He had been sick for a long time and had decided to stop dialysis the week before he died and thankfully I was able to spend his last week with him in Spokane.
That week will be the way I remember him forever and that week with him has changed my life. In his last week of life, my grandfather taught me more about being faithful to the end then anyone ever has.
When our family passed on the news of his decision to stop dialysis to those who knew him, the responses were overwhelming. Everyone made a comment of how faithful he was and what an example he was to them. That alone was amazing. What a legacy to leave behind.
The whole week I was in awe of how peaceful he was. He knew he was going to die but there wasn't any sadness or anxiety. Just peace. We wasn't worried about what was to come. He wasn't worried about if he had done enough on this Earth. He was totally at peace because he had devoted his life to God and to eternity. He never once complained. He wasn't sad about leaving this Earth. He was excited about what was to come. Sure he was going to miss us, but he "was ready to go home."
What an amazing testimony to have. That is how it should be when we get to the end of this life. We should be at peace because we have done everything we could to honor God. There shouldn't be any sadness, or fear, or anxiety. We should be excited about what's to come.
This is the kind of life I want to lead. I want people to remember me not by what I wore, the car I drove, the house I lived in, but by my faithfulness. I want to get to the end of this life and be excited about going home.
So to my Bobpa, thank you for your amazing example of faithfulness. I will miss you, your Cheshire grin reserved for us grand kids, and your giant bear hugs. I love you.

Miracles

This past Sunday, during our prayer time before church, our pastor shared a story of another member who prayed for healing for a friend. This church member's friend was healed from something he had been dealing with his whole life. Pretty amazing. After our pastor shared that story he mentioned that there are people who believe that miracles aren't for them but they're wrong. God performs miracles for everyone.

I am one of those people he was talking about. I am a reformed miracle skeptic. I don't want to say I didn't believe in miracles but I am so scientifically minded that I always thought there was a medical explanation to miracles. I had a hard time believing that it was a miracle.

For the past six months this has been something God has really brought to my attention. Every time I would question (in my mind, never out loud) someones story of a miracle in their life I would feel very convicted. Any time I read about miracles in my bible I would hear God saying to me "you believe in the miracles in the bible why can't you believe in them now?"

During the time my hair started growing back, I was reading in Mark and there were two verses that pretty much changed my whole view on miracles. In Mark 9, Jesus was talking to the father of the demon possessed boy and this father said asked Jesus to heal his son "if" he could. Jesus replied "what do you mean if? Anything is possible if a person believes". And then the very popular verses in Mark 10:27 "everything is possible with God."

Miracles are possible for everyone who believes. If you look around you, you will see miracles happening in your life and the lives of those around you everyday. They might not be big miracles like someone being healed from a life-long illness, but miracles are there. Waking up in the morning, getting to work or school safely, the sun coming up in the morning, your children. The world is full of miracles we get to enjoy.

Whenever you start to think that miracles only happen in the bible or to other people, look around you and you'll see the miralces God performs in your life everyday.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for two year old wisdom.

This morning I had to apologize to my baby boy for being "naughty" to him yesterday.

We are in the middle of trying to potty train him and let me tell you what, this boy is STUBBORN (his daddy's DNA) and a bit of a control freak (his mommy's DNA).

By the end of the day yesterday I was done. I had been fighting with him all day trying to get him to go (he holds his urine until the last possible second), he had missed his nap for the second day in a row and had been up late the night before, plus he had watched way too much tv so he was a bit on the crazy side. He wasn't listening, he was being a bully to his sister, and he wouldn't calm down at all.
Oh and did I mention that I'm in the middle of weaning the baby which has turned her into a VERY clingy baby and it was snowing so the dog refused to stay outside longer than two minutes but had to go so would whine at the door every couple minutes. Oh and my husband has been home for maybe eight hours all week.

Like I said, I WAS DONE.

So instead of praying and asking God for help, I snapped. And I snapped big time. I yelled at my son like I have never yelled at him before. Not just once, but three times. And then I cried and told him I was mad at him. Thankfully it was time for bed by this point.

So this morning after he woke up and asked me if I was still mad at him (do you hear the sound of my heart breaking?), I sat down with him and told him I was very sorry for being so mean and naughty to him and that I loved him very much. His response, "It's ok. I love you too." Oh man I love that boy.
It got me thinking. What if I was that quick to forgive? I know that forgiveness isn't always easy and there is almost always leftover feelings of hurt that need to be dealt with, but what if we were quick to forgive and then deal with the rest of the stuff later?

I think sometimes I confuse my feelings of anger and hurt with forgiveness. I don't believe that just because I say I forgive someone, those feelings automatically disappear. Saying I forgive someone means that I am willing to work on those feelings and putting what happened behind me. I didn't say I would forget what happened, but I would forgive.
So today I am thankful for the lessons I learn everyday from my kids. And today, I am going to work on being quick to forgive just like my baby boy was quick to forgive me.

Praise Report

MY HAIR IS COMING BACK!!

Thank you everyone who prayed for healing for me, emailed and texted words of encouragement, and who were just there for me as a shoulder to cry on.
I do not know how long this regrowth period will last but I'm choosing to enjoy it while it's here. For a split second I thought about just going bald so that I don't have to worry every time I see hair in the shower but I realized that's kind of selfish for me. There are so many Alopecia patients who would love to have hair right now and I would be throwing this gift away by shaving my head. God has given me my hair back, even if it's for a brief time, for a reason and I need to enjoy it. I do have a little bit of survivor's guilt for it though but I can't start questioning God. It's a slippery slope when I start questioning him and I don't want to go down that path.
God has revealed so much to me in the last couple months. Because of that, I am thankful for my Alopecia. I never thought I would say that, but I am. He has shown me how strong I can be. He has shown me what I can accomplish when I lean on Him. He has shown me how truly amazing my husband is. And He has given me the confidence to do something I thought I would never do, lead a small group through church. These last five months have been a little difficult but have mostly been amazing.
I saw this story the other day on 20/20 and I pretty much cried the whole time. It made me realize just how much Alopecia has affected me and just how much it's still very much a part of me. http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/hair-model-stricken-alopecia-actress-georgia-van-cuylenburg-2020-15898178
There are still a lot of unknowns (isn't there always?) but I KNOW that everything will work out the way it's supposed to i I trust in God and I lean on Him.

2011 Family Newsletter

The big news of this year was our daughter, Kylie Rae was born on March 25^th. She weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and was 20 in. long. She has been a much different baby than William. Kyle says she is very much a girl because she’s picky and has no problem screaming at you when you’ve upset her. She already throws a better fit than her brother does at 9 months. Even with the tantrums, she’s a very happy baby and loves to go anywhere as long as she gets to look around and smile at everyone. Her favorite person is her big brother. We’re convinced that she’s trying to walk early just to keep up with him.
William is a very busy two year old. He is VERY stubborn (like his daddy), loud, energetic, and loving. He is always concerned about other’s feelings and he loves to give hugs if someone is upset. He is a very happy little boy. His favorite things are wresting with his daddy, singing (he is constantly putting on concerts for us), football, the movie Cars, and making people laugh anyway he can. He has been an amazing big brother and usually asks to play with “Kylie girl” the minute he gets up in the morning. He is very observant and likes to tell you where we are going just by the direction we are going and the scenery around us.

Kyle has been on recruiting duty for a year now. To say that he loves it would be an overstatement but there are things he likes about his job and like everything he does, he’s very good at his job. It requires long hours but he gets to spend more time at home than he ever has during our relationship. The big news with him is, he has decided that he will not be re-enlisting when his contract is up in October. He has decided to go to school for accounting and will be going to the University of South Alabama which means a move to Mobile, Alabama for us. It’s going to be a little bit of a transition since we’ve been living by Anna-Lisa’s family for a year but we’re looking forward to spending time with the Perez’s, sweet tea, and good southern barbeque!

Anna-Lisa has been busy staying home with the kids. It’s been a struggle learning how to manage with two kids but she loves it. This year Anna-Lisa was diagnosed with Alopecia Universalis. It’s an auto-immune disease, so pretty much her body is attacking her hair follicles and making it fall out. This condition is hard because there are a lot of unknowns with it. The doctors don’t know if all her hair will fall out or if it will come back. We’re very thankful that it’s just hair though and not anything else more serious.

This year we also added a puppy named Lily to our family. She is an English Bulldog/Boston Terrier mix and she’s turned out to be an awesome dog. She’s a great family dog and we’re glad we have her (most of the time).

We hope you all had a VERY merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Love, Kyle, Anna-Lisa, William, Kylie, and Lily

Update on me

I had an appointment with my dermatologist a couple weeks ago. She just wanted me to come in for a recheck since my hair wasn't falling out in the normal way it does with Alopecia. She told me that with out a doubt I have Alopecia (there wasn't really a question about it). She also told me that it usually takes about a year for us to really know what my hair is going to do, whether it's going to all fall out or not. If it falls out in a year, it could always come back. If it comes back before the year, it can always fall out again (got all that?). I have decided not to pursue any treatments for a couple different reasons but mostly because I don't think I could handle it working and then my hair falling out again.

I also had an appointment with an endocrinologist about a month ago. I have low thyroid and since auto-immune diseases hang out together and low thyroid could be caused by an auto-immune disease, the doctor wanted to make sure I didn't have any other auto-immune diseases. I was checked for a bunch of different ones and so far the only other auto-immune disease I have is Hashimoto's thyroiditis which means my thyroid gland is being attacked and destroyed by my body. I have a STRONG family history of Hashimoto's (pretty much my mom's whole family has it) so this diagnosis wasn't shocking at all.
My hair is still falling out but I also have A TON of new growth which is awesome. I can really notice all the new growth on the top of my head but the sides of my scalp are still really thin and that's where most of my bald spots are. I also had to wax my eye brows the other day for the first time since August. I have never been so happy to need an eyebrow wax in my life!

So that's the update. We're still in a waiting period right now and it sounds like we will be for quite awhile. No matter what happens, I have complete trust in the Lord and I have total peace about my future even if my future doesn't include hair!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Thankful Thursday-Twin edition

I haven't done a thankful Thursday in a while but I think today is a perfect day to start doing them again.

I would like to introduce to you my nephews, Jaden and Jeremiah.

Today I am thankful for the miracle of life. I was reminded today how much of a miracle these little boys are regardless of how they came into our family. They were made perfect in God's eyes. Today I'm thankful for these little guys. Today I'm thankful for the love I have for these boys already. I'm thankful for their health and the health of their mama. I'm thankful I'm an auntie (I'm going to be their favorite!). I can't wait to get my hands on these little guys!